tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36562358366231586142024-02-07T05:00:27.011-08:00Poetic JourneysA walk in madness amongst the damned and depraved...William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.comBlogger83125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-51436290705158555402021-06-09T21:27:00.001-07:002021-06-09T21:27:09.484-07:00Two Major Points<link rel="preconnect" href="https://fonts.gstatic.com">
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</br>
After weeks in </br>
a hospital learning</br>
how to heal.</br>
</br>
I had to start</br>
back at ground</br>
zero and get real.</br>
</br>
What I began</br>
to notice is that</br>
none of the people</br>
were there.</br>
</br>
Especially those</br>
drama queens who</br>
go on about how</br>
they care.</br>
</br>
I faced total</br>
decimation when</br>
out of the blue</br>
the Angels came.</br>
</br>
One at a time they</br>
they were selfless</br>
and removed layers</br>
of shame.</br>
</br>
They renewed my hope</br>
in humanity by</br>
just being themselves</br>
everyday.</br>
</br>
They had their own</br>
quirkiness but</br>
they never stopped giving</br>
what they could anyway.</br>
</br>
I'm only halfway through</br>
this journey of recovering</br>
to myself again.</br>
</br>
I somehow know that this</br>
is the turning point</br>
where i find the</br>
path to win.</br>
</br>
Mark Twain said there's two</br>
major points in someone's life</br>
that people should explore.</br>
</br>
The day we are born</br>
and the day</br>
we realise what we</br>
were born for.</br>
</br>
William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-76187084875783506362021-06-09T19:03:00.000-07:002021-06-09T19:03:54.472-07:00Thank You Jose (aka Loco)<style>
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</br>
Somewhere deep in</br>
the night I laid</br>
naked, afraid and
</br>
beaten to the core.</br>
</br>
They beat me so</br>
continuously that I</br>
I wasn't conscious</br>
anymore.</br>
</br>
When I awoke I</br>
could hear a discussion</br>
of my murder and</br>
disposing of me.</br>
</br>
I knew I was done for</br>
and while praying to</br>
God above I beheld an </br>
Angel that I could see.</br>
</br>
He spoke and asked</br>
how this happened</br>
and asked who had</br>
done this.</br>
</br>
I tried to tell him</br>
but my face was too broken</br>
that he got nothing from this.</br>
</br>
He helped me</br>
to my feet and when</br>
the goons tried to interfere.</br>
</br>
He roared in anger</br>
at them while they</br>
ran and got clear.</br>
</br>
He walked me up to the</br>
road and then</br>
made his own way.</br>
</br>
Just as an</br>
Ambulance jammed</br>
the curb to come</br>
save the day.</br>
</br>
I had to write</br>
this so i could</br>
find a way to say,</br>
</br>
Loco you saved</br>
my life and</br>
I don't know how</br>
to thank you Jose.</br>
</br>
William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-79391538893982120202021-06-09T13:06:00.006-07:002021-06-09T21:42:23.867-07:00To Have My Angel Near. (RIP Angel Wilder)<link rel="preconnect" href="https://fonts.gstatic.com">
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Without you I</br>
just pretend</br>
I must confess.</br>
</br>
Without you here</br>
it seems</br>
there's no happiness.</br>
</br>
Your innocence</br>
and playfulness</br>
kept me alive.</br>
</br>
Now without you</br>
I don't think I</br>
can survive.</br>
</br>
I have to fight</br>
my mind away</br>
from you.</br>
</br>
Losing you is</br>
just too fucking</br>
painful to get through.</br>
</br>
So many times</br>
you kept me from</br>
my own suicide.</br>
</br>
I knew no one could</br>
love you as much</br>
as I do by your side.</br>
</br>
I hate everyone</br>
for killing you</br>
and taking</br>
you away.</br>
</br>
I scream at night</br>
wanting to</br>
make them pay.</br>
</br>
I don't know</br>
how I'm supposed</br>
to get through this.</br>
</br>
When all I want</br>
is to feel</br>
your cold nose</br>
and wet kiss.</br>
</br>
I panic now</br>
overwhelmed that</br>
you're not here.</br>
</br>
I cry, I would</br>
give anything</br>
to have my Angel near.</br>
</br>
I hope for Lexi's</br>
sake that I</br>
can carry on.</br>
</br>
All I really</br>
want right now</br>
is to be gone.</br>
</br>
William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-42581651647093423262021-05-02T13:04:00.002-07:002021-05-02T13:05:10.586-07:00If I Find It<html>
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</br>
Madness makes me</br>
smile at the</br>
lies before us.</br>
</br>
Blackness is what</br>
fills the</br>
space towards us.</br>
</br>
The unnanounced</br>
came on time</br>
just to make a show.</br>
</br>
We are swearing</br>
off the righteous</br>
just to have a go.</br>
</br>
The able minded</br>
didn't seem to be</br>
upset at all.</br>
</br>
If I find it</br>
I'd like to double down</br>
and bet it all.</br>
</br>
Maybe I'll find</br>
something to change</br>
the curcumstance.</br>
</br>
Or I can become</vr>
better than I am</br>
given the chance.</br>
</br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-60300614958467978112021-03-14T04:20:00.000-07:002021-03-14T04:20:31.748-07:0012 Step Meeting<html>
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</br>
Stolen moments were</br>
piled up in</br>
the place I hide.</br>
</br>
Whispering insanity is</br>
the only place</br>
left to confide.</br>
</br>
I'm always downshifting</br>
rather than locking</br>
up the brakes.</br>
</br>
To get myself</br>
next to her, I'll do</br>
whatever it takes.</br>
</br>
Now that she</br>
made it here I'm trying</br>
to get her ass out.</br>
</br>
Every time I think</br>
I might win I get</br>
overwhelmed with doubt.</br>
</br>
This Meet N Greet mixed</br>
with a 12 step meeting</br>
left me deceived.</br>
</br>
Once she finally</br>
left me I was</br>
exhausted but releived.</br>
</br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-28952429518008156092020-12-16T22:28:00.005-08:002020-12-16T22:28:47.611-08:00So Far Down<html>
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</br>
The mild mannered</br>
fuck off's screamed</br>
and yelled fuck</br>
off to us all.</br>
</br>
Emancipating a</br>
brand of slavery</br>
blinded truth</br>
to a fall.</br>
</br>
Old days of</br>
chanting in</br>
the bitter</br>
violence burn.</br>
</br>
Countless ways of</br>
taunting in</br>
a tragic</br>
insane turn.</br>
</br>
Somewhere in a</br>
backwards motion</br>
I shifted into</br>
a forwarding gesture.</br>
</br>
The separation of</br>
such rags spread</br>
upon my feeble</br>
and felonious vesture.</br>
</br>
Smiling faces</br>
grit their teeth</br>
with vile jealousy.</br>
</br>
No fucks given</br>
is what I always</br>
be telling me.</br>
</br>
Look on past</br>
it all because</br>
I can't even try,</br>
so I won't holla.</br>
</br>
This needle got</br>
me so far down</br>
here in the depths</br>
of hell you</br>
can't follow.</br>
</br>
I'm at that</br>
point where you're</br>
numb to it all</br>
and you never cry.</br>
</br>
The path that</br>
only gives way</br>
and finally ends</br>
when I die.</br>
</br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-65197728224959378952019-03-13T16:26:00.000-07:002019-03-13T16:26:32.155-07:00One and Only Wish<html>
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<p align="center">
</br>
The fog rolls</br>
in over the treetops</br>
in billows leaving</br>
hardly any sight.</br>
</br>
A log in the</br>
fire made it warm</br>
enough for us to</br>
survive the night.</br>
</br>
When I realized that I</br>
had no true friends</br>
I was already</br>
injured and alone.</br>
</br>
Desolate and broken</br>
with no one to cry to</br>
and no place to</br>
call my home.</br>
</br>
Everything taken</br>
I don't live anymore</br>
I wander</br>
through space and time.</br>
</br>
I never know when</br>
the end is coming but</br>
I'm never afraid of</br>
what I might find.</br>
</br>
I've been made a mockery</br>
of for so long I even poke</br>
at myself so I</br>
can keep laughing.</br>
</br>
I'm so misunderstood</br>
that I'm always hated</br>
and plotted on</br>
during each passing.</br>
</br>
As my Angel shivers</br>
against the cold concrete</br>
we try to find</br>
a moments sleep.</br>
</br>
I try to think of things</br>
to be grateful for</br>
to keep myself</br>
from starting to weep.</br>
</br>
I know that we have</br>
made mistakes and it's</br>
my karma that hasn't</br>
finished being paid.</br>
</br>
I know it's why I will</br>
die in isolation and</br>
somewhere in hell</br>
my soul will be laid.</br>
</br>
I have one and only</br>
wish that I pray</br>
would somehow,</br>
some way come true.</br>
</br>
For everyone to know the</br>
truth and beauty</br>
inside me and the love</br>
I held for all of you.</br>
</br>
</br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-84236642071029472152018-08-11T00:22:00.000-07:002018-08-11T00:22:09.283-07:00FINAL FRUITION<html>
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<p align="center"></br>
I was a fool</br>
acting haughty</br>
pretending I</br>
wasn't enslaved</br>
to sexuality.</br>
</br>
I knew my</br>
demise as</br>
I watched myself</br>
succumb to</br>
her sensuality.</br>
</br>
Could someone</br>
ease this</br>
pain that life</br>
has me in?</br>
</br>
It used to be</br>
a part of</br>
it, but now it's</br>
labeled my sin.</br>
</br>
There is no</br>
exemption because</br>
I have</br>
lied,</br>
</br>
and I can't</br>
find redemption,</br>
Lord knows</br>
I've tried.</br>
</br>
In the air</br>
was a sadness</br>
when I took</br>
my last fall.</br>
</br>
I'm still a</br>
slave to her</br>
skilled madness</br>
through it all.</br>
</br>
Denied as a</br>
false pretense</br>
I was subjugated</br>
under your</br>
own admission.</br>
</br>
In the last</br>
moments you all</br>
whispered to</br>
evil it's</br>
final fruition.</br>
</br>
</br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-6331210462823886732017-11-22T03:30:00.000-08:002017-11-22T05:06:44.823-08:00Something I'm Not
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<p align="center"></br>
He was closest</br>
to my heart but</br>
became the one I</br>
most resented.</br>
</br>
She displayed</br>
no recognition of</br>
truth when it</br>
was presented.</br>
</br>
I was werewolfing</br>
out while the</br>
joke was all on</br>
me due to a</br>
loss of free will.</br>
</br>
I let down my</br>
guard and love</br>
crept up, moving</br>
in on me</br>
for the kill.</br>
</br>
I'm trying to</br>
showcase the truth</br>
through lying</br>
on the spot.</br>
</br>
You toyed</br>
with me, to</br>
make me into</br>
something I'm not.</br>
</br>
I've let loose</br>
on this present</br>
moment to</br>
destroy us all.</br>
</br>
Succumbed to</br>
lust on the</br>
backside of</br>
yesterday's fall.</br>
</br>
Looking back in</br>
time, the stage</br>
was set for the</br>
death of me</br>
from the start.</br>
</br>
Each moment</br>
gave way to</br>
a notion of</br>
insanity that</br>
tore it all apart.</br>
</br>
Through the mirror</br>
you are now</br>
self-righteous and</br>
innocent for</br>
what you've done.</br>
</br>
I'm just letting all</br>
the bullshit be</br>
the best of me,</br>
as my life ends</br>
behind my gun.</br>
</br></br></br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-67699976846327686472017-06-15T18:12:00.000-07:002017-06-15T18:12:14.543-07:00Living Proof
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While incarcerated I</br>
realized that it</br>
didn't matter if I</br>
ever actually prayed.</br>
</br>
Just as I put my foot</br>
in my mouth I began</br>
to understand that</br>
we couldn't have stayed.</br>
</br>
When I tried to find</br>
the right person</br>
I found out that</br>
they didn't exist.</br>
</br>
Someone told me</br>
that if I committed</br>
suicide I probably</br>
wouldn't be missed.</br>
</br>
I was perplexed because</br>
it wasn't all that</br>
she said it would be</br>
between the sheets.</br>
</br>
With her I am constantly</br>
oppressed to not have a</br>
home while staying alive</br>
in these streets.</br>
</br>
It's still hard to</br>
swallow that there's</br>
no justice for</br>
us righteous of men.</br>
</br>
It's sad that I am</br>
living proof that</br>
evil is what</br>
wins in the end.</br>
</br></br>
William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-12342972771493975032017-06-15T17:52:00.001-07:002017-06-15T17:52:22.655-07:00My Destination<html>
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<p align="center"></br>
Don't change the</br>
subject each time</br>
you ask me</br>
a question.</br>
</br>
I'll be Goddamned</br>
if anyone thinks I'm</br>
paying for some bitch's</br>
psych session.</br>
</br>
They've all fallen</br>
and become a victim</br>
since I last decided</br>
to come around.</br>
</br>
I was told that when</br>
a syringe with witch's</br>
brew was handed out</br>
they were all spellbound.</br>
</br>
There wasn't a chance</br>
that I would get to</br>
go down on her even</br>
though I tried.</br>
</br>
I chose not to advance</br>
yet still, when I have</br>
talked about it for some</br>
reason I lied.</br>
</br>
It's all come full</br>
circle now and no</br>
one really knows how</br>
it will play out.</br>
</br>
My damnation is</br>
certain and hell is</br>
my final destination</br>
beyond any doubt.</br>
</br></br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-17251339234367884442017-06-15T17:27:00.001-07:002017-06-15T17:27:19.722-07:00Glimpse of Relief<html>
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Why can't you realize</br>
that I know you are</br>
there and you can't</br>
read my gift?</br>
</br>
When did I do something</br>
to deserve this evil that</br>
you put in me and keep</br>
on torturing me with?</br>
</br>
When everyone involved</br>
becomes lab rats too</br>
I wonder what you'll do</br>
and how you'll feel.</br>
</br>
Thanks to too many</br>
drugs I made my mind</br>
unbreakable and</br>
solid as steel.</br>
</br>
I lived through your</br>
brainwashing and your</br>
attempt to reprogram</br>
my system of belief.</br>
</br>
Now it's only when I'm</br>
high as fuck or busting</br>
a nut that I feel a</br>
glimpse of relief.</br>
</br>
The constant puppetry</br>
of everything around</br>
would drive most</br>
humans insane.</br>
</br>
I have only endured</br>
it much better than</br>
others because my life's</br>
been nothing but pain.</br>
</br></br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-51515003476072413512017-06-15T17:03:00.001-07:002017-06-15T17:03:18.585-07:00Freak on Exhibit<html>
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As soon as</br>
I arrived I</br>
knew that I</br>
had fucked up again.</br>
</br>
I'm not sure</br>
that I'll ever</br>
be shown mercy</br>
or allowed to win.</br>
</br>
Not only am I a</br>
loser but it</br>
seems my faith</br>
is no more.</br>
</br>
I'm lost in a sea</br>
of doubt and I'm</br>
still unwanted</br>
as a whore.</br>
</br>
My trials and</br>
tribulations have</br>
left me defeated</br>
and in disarray.</br>
</br>
I'm the outcast, the</br>
freak on exhibit</br>
to everyone's</br>
disregard and dismay</br>
</br>
I thought I was</br>
special and there</br>
was more to my</br>
life than this.</br>
</br>
Now I am resolute</br>
in being a mistake</br>
that no one will</br>
ever miss.</br>
</br>
I'm bound to stay in this life</br>
while I'm on earth so that</br>
I can endure torture </br>
and not be free.</br>
</br>
I only find comfort in the</br>
the fact that God's vengeance</br>
will one day torture</br>
those that tortured me.</br>
</br></br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-67580214850320408792017-06-15T14:32:00.000-07:002017-06-15T14:32:07.389-07:00Despite my Efforts<html>
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Straightening out</br>
the psychiatric</br>
chaos left</br>
me devastated.</br>
</br>
Believing in goodness</br>
prevailing was a</br>
mistake and it</br>
left me irritated.</br>
</br>
I thought there</br>
was a point to</br>
me showing up</br>
but it seems I</br>
was mistaken.</br>
</br>
I wonder why</br>
your public</br>
displays are</br>
always to make</br>
me look taken.</br>
</br>
Abrasive gestures</br>
were made by the</br>
ones who showed up</br>
to take it all away.</br>
</br>
This reminiscing</br>
has brought up</br>
a conversation with</br>
nothing left to say.</br>
</br>
You only want to</br>
make love to me</br>
every time you</br>
are totally spun.</br>
</br>
All the things</br>
you do to hold us</br>
together are</br>
causing us to</br>
come undone.</br>
</br></br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-45383819120841278222017-06-15T14:10:00.002-07:002017-06-15T14:10:20.708-07:00Too Difficult to Face<html>
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<p align="center"></br>
How bittersweet</br>
it was losing</br>
you as a friend.</br>
</br>
How bittersweet</br>
it was that our</br>
love had to end.</br>
</br>
Our addictions</br>
were horrible but</br>
something we had</br>
to go through.</br>
</br>
For our transgressions</br>
we prayed for</br>
forgiveness, it's</br>
what we had to do.</br>
</br>
I can't believe</br>
you called me</br>
family but used</br>
me like a slave.</br>
</br>
After a long time</br>
coming it was you</br>
that couldn't seem</br>
to try and behave.</br>
</br>
We have already</br>
pieced us back</br>
together, over</br>
and over we tried.</br>
</br>
It's too difficult</br>
to face that everything</br>
between us has</br>
finally died.</br>
</br>
To save my</br>
sanity, I know</br>
what it is I</br>
have to do.</br>
</br>
I'm facing</br>
my fears and</br>
finally saying</br>
goodbye to you.</br>
</br></br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-51713604943160921322017-06-15T13:38:00.000-07:002017-06-15T13:38:11.471-07:00No Belief<html>
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<p align="center"></br>
A dead nightmare</br>
arose from the grave</br>
your evil heart</br>
buried me in.</br>
</br>
The loaded chamber</br>
held the round that</br>
gave you assurance</br>
that you'd win.</br>
</br>
Looking past the</br>
smoky mirror I tried</br>
to see what you</br>
were underneath.</br>
</br>
Terrified with the</br>
knowing of how empty</br>
you are while</br>
holding no belief.</br>
</br>
I have felt enough</br>
pain to never believe</br>
I am wanted</br>
or desired.</br>
</br>
I can't pick myself</br>
up off the floor</br>
or do anything</br>
cause I'm tired.</br>
</br></br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-56974618259488268422017-06-15T13:12:00.001-07:002017-06-15T13:12:06.666-07:00Find A Home<html>
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<p align="center"></br>
It made me insecure</br>
and jealous when</br>
she looked</br>
into my eyes.</br>
</br>
Her desire for my</br>
attention is what</br>
caught me</br>
by surprise.</br>
</br>
I've never been</br>
treated special</br>
or wanted</br>
by anyone.</br>
</br>
Every relationship</br>
I've known I</br>
have watched</br>
come undone.</br>
</br>
I'm trying to find</br>
peace so that I can</br>
bury the violence</br>
I am capable of.</br>
</br>
I keep searching for</br>
someone to choose me</br>
for that special</br>
gift of love.</br>
</br>
My Angel and I are</br>
keeping the faith</br>
that we'll find a</br>
home some day.</br>
</br>
A someone to love</br>
us because home is</br>
where your heart</br>
is they say.</br>
</br></br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-11125149438728262892017-06-15T12:40:00.001-07:002017-06-15T12:40:42.344-07:00Until the End<html>
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<p align="center"></br>
They told me that I</br>
was emotionally</br>
malnourished when</br>
I was young.</br>
</br>
I now find</br>
myself digging</br>
to find a</br>
song not sung.</br>
</br>
Made to shut-up</br>
and obey when </br>
it was time</br>
for count.</br>
</br>
I keep having</br>
thoughts of you</br>
naked that I want</br>
to mount.</br>
</br>
I hit the main</br>
line running</br>
so I wouldn't be</br>
doing hard time.</br>
</br>
I jumped into</br>
the vampires den</br>
without any</br>
reason or rhyme.</br>
</br>
It was naive</br>
of me to think</br>
I'd be worthy of</br>
having a friend.</br>
</br>
A righteous effort</br>
that fell apart</br>
leaving me lonely</br>
until the end.</br>
</br></br>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-88823765087174254842017-06-15T12:10:00.000-07:002017-06-15T12:11:21.425-07:00Nothing but Misery<html>
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<div>
<p align="center"></br>
You never feel</br>
complete when you</br>
factor in your</br>
actual loss.</br>
</br>
I tried to mettle</br>
with it causing</br>
me to break even</br>
on the cost.</br>
</br>
Someone tried to</br>
give me a bit of</br>
truth within a tale</br>
I couldn't follow.</br>
</br>
Your excuses</br>
were quite good</br>
but still something</br>
I couldn't swallow.</br>
</br>
A lie in </br>
real time brought</br>
back nothing</br>
but misery.</br>
</br>
That move against</br>
it completed</br>
my heart</br>
broken memory.</br>
</br>
I was left alone</br>
again to be</br>
devoured by the</br>
high volume</br>
of silence.</br>
</br>
A dreadful journey</br>
down a trail</br>
that lead to</br>
my rebellion</br>
and defiance.</br>
</br>
I just hope</br>
that in the end the</br>
truth shall become</br>
what's known.</br>
</br>
I keep needing</br>
to change something</br>
or I'll always</br>
be cold and alone.</br>
</div></div></br></br>
William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-81872011506137750882017-06-15T11:39:00.000-07:002017-06-15T11:39:03.350-07:00A Cruel Joke<html>
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<div>
<p align="center"></br>
I'm standing at a profound</br>
moment of change that</br>
speaks of betrayal</br>
and sadness.</br>
</br>
I've pushed it to my</br>
breaking point while</br>
becoming immersed in</br>
total madness.</br>
</br>
I drew upon the hope</br>
that people could</br>
be righteous</br>
and kind.</br>
</br>
Watching that demonic</br>
face fuels the anger</br>
that's causing me to</br>
lose my mind.</br>
</br>
How you could love me</br>
was such a cruel joke</br>
to play since you knew</br>
it wasn't true.</br>
</br>
Still, I gave you my</br>
trust and you kept on</br>
beating it until it was</br>
black and blue.</br>
</br>
My nerves are no </br>
longer able to</br>
register on the </br>
touch test.</br>
</br>
Reaching for a niche</br>
that sells so I</br>
can actually do</br>
my best.</br>
</br>
Finality won't ever</br>
bring a true</br>
resolution but</br>
at least it</br>
will be done.</br>
</br>
I keep on passing</br>
that point of</br>
no return and</br>
it's evident</br>
that evil has won.</br>
</div></div></br></br>
William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-40124782897917610552017-01-23T11:13:00.001-08:002017-01-23T11:13:02.820-08:00It's Meant To Be<html>
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<div>
<p align="center"></br>
I didn't have</br>
any recipe to make</br>
this life taste</br>
more bitter than hell.</br>
</br>
Every time they</br>
ask about the you</br>
who was, I simply</br>
say "all is well".</br>
</br>
Taking steps are</br>
a lot easier when</br>
I'm higher than shit.</br>
</br>
I keep trying to force</br>
intercourse in hopes</br>
that it'll get me</br>
over it.</br>
</br>
Trying to breathe</br>
one moment and</br>
breathing fire the</br>
next is exhausting me.</br>
</br>
All this time and</br>
money on drugs and</br>
sex has become unworthy</br>
of what it's meant to be.</br>
</br>
I will justify</br>
your hateful and</br>
hurtful actions as</br>
something I</br>
deserve to endure.</br>
</br>
I'm holding on with</br>
all I can but</br>
without passion I</br>
can't say if I'll</br>
make it for sure.</br>
</br></div></div>
William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-87681082643716092782017-01-22T19:14:00.001-08:002017-01-23T10:51:08.057-08:00Love without Hate<html>
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<center><br />
You set the<br />
pace and I'll<br />
follow along.<br />
<br />
You play the<br />
tune and I'll<br />
sing the song.<br />
<br />
I know there's a<br />
way to love<br />
without hate.<br />
<br />
Just let go<br />
of the past<br />
because we<br />
can't wait.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow is tomorrow,<br />
we will face it when<br />
it's here.<br />
<br />
Today, let me complete<br />
you and remove<br />
all your fear.<br />
<br />
It's in this moment<br />
where we can<br />
be free.<br />
<br />
I just need you<br />
to go blind so<br />
that you can see.<br />
<br />
It's your imperfections<br />
that make you<br />
perfect, I know<br />
it sounds strange.<br />
<br />
I love you just<br />
the way you<br />
are and there's<br />
nothing about you<br />
I'd change.<br />
<br />
<br />
</center>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-67807580608439962002016-08-30T14:05:00.002-07:002019-03-27T11:31:53.763-07:00Where it Shouldn't<html>
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<p align="center"></br>
Such an angry bitter</br>
person that being a bitch isn't</br>
a facade like you make</br>
it out to be, it's</br>
actually the real you.</br>
</br>
Your love and flattery</br>
prove themselves not</br>
to be so in all</br>
the little things you do.</br>
</br>
What is it that</br>
makes you want to be on a</br>
collision course to</br>
heartache while playing</br>
both sides?</br>
</br>
Is it you or your old</br>
bitch of a has been</br>
secret that always</br>
works it so that he</br>
stays in shadows</br>
and hides?</br>
</br>
Is this five minutes</br>
of fame worth it,</br>
did you score the</br>
most dope you'd</br>
ever seen?</br>
</br>
Or is true</br>
love touching you</br>
where it shouldn't making</br>
you have to fight</br>
yourself not</br>
to come clean</br>
</br>
Just how you have wanted</br>
it all with me then you</br>
have to reveal it all</br>
to me to come out on top.</br>
</br>
This farce of a romance</br>
they created to add</br>
more drama reached inside</br>
your heart and for</br>
us will never stop.</br>
</br>
You must be certain</br>
that the truth between</br>
us would make this love</br>
between us no</br>
longer exist.</br>
</br>
Search your heart and soul,</br>
because the truth</br>
that would destroy us</br>
is the same truth</br>
now that allows</br>
our love eternally</br>
persist.</br>
</br></div>William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-83579157284565755012016-06-14T14:32:00.000-07:002016-06-14T14:32:32.358-07:00I'm not special...<div style="text-align: center;">
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Priceless catatonic<br />
episodes keep me<br />
from saving face in<br />
your presence.<br />
<br />
Lifeless and<br />
moronic geniuses seek<br />
to see my demon<br />
emerge with<br />
acceptance.<br />
<br />
I put on<br />
lay-a-way salvation<br />
because I'm not special<br />
and nothing good<br />
ever happens to me.<br />
<br />
I changed my<br />
order to damnation when<br />
I realized purchase<br />
power won't<br />
set me free.<br />
<br />
The guardians of the<br />
rules raised our<br />
threat level to<br />
Defcon-4 so that the<br />
extermination could begin.<br />
<br />
Most dimensions<br />
have no<br />
condiments available<br />
in hopes that<br />
they would see<br />
the jumpers again.<br />
<br />
Mercy was sold<br />
out at every<br />
store we went to and<br />
now hope<br />
is sick with<br />
a stomach flu.<br />
<br />
I wanted to believe<br />
but cried<br />
when I began to<br />
see down the path<br />
to what<br />
is true.<br />
<br />
They knew gang stalking<br />
won't be proved and<br />
how to end me<br />
without a fuss.<br />
<br />
My heart, my Alexis Michelle,<br />
they've taken your<br />
Daddy's life away<br />
from the both of us.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</span></div>
William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3656235836623158614.post-25793876271916697802016-06-14T10:58:00.002-07:002016-06-14T13:27:14.347-07:00Being a Mistake<html>
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<div>Stolen passages were<br />
tainted by the kiss asses<br />
who just want something.<br />
<br />
I saw the beauty<br />
in Madness, a calamity<br />
Jane too busy frontin'.<br />
<br />
My color blindness makes<br />
it impossible to see your<br />
rainbowed mind due to<br />
multiple personality disorder.<br />
<br />
A tyranny sprang<br />
forth while injustice<br />
became deceivingly<br />
the sequential order.<br />
<br />
Sprinkle all your stares<br />
at me as if I could<br />
give a fuck if<br />
you care or whether<br />
you approve or not.<br />
<br />
One more feather<br />
on this camel's back will<br />
make me a<br />
mass murderer and you<br />
being one of the<br />
ones who was shot.<br />
<br />
The main course<br />
made me have an<br />
appetite for speed.<br />
<br />
It landed down<br />
in the best place<br />
for me to bleed.<br />
<br />
Roughed up my mind so<br />
that I could handle<br />
more rejection from<br />
a fine bitch<br />
like you.<br />
<br />
I was in a panic<br />
because I'm worried that<br />
me being a mistake<br />
is what's left<br />
to be true.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div></center>
William Wilderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09710429711951398606noreply@blogger.com1