the only way

The broken dream facilitates forgiveness
and reaches beyond the rhetoric of time.
Coming to fruition
a distance hanging on the premise that you were mine.


Every moment dictated and handed down
of who not to be and what not to do.
Competition so fierce
that we are both blinded to what is really true.


Holding secrets...
grasping tightly
to a love turned bitter with regret
Fastening the seat belt,
wishfully
leaving the last bet.

I took his face and his name
while being crucified under the existence of the past.
Contemplating suicide...
talking it over with the spirits a tiny stretch until the last.

You can't let it go,
to see differences and respect what is.
I can't hold on,
to see differences and respect what is.

A battering ram of destruction becoming inflamed
with resentment sets off the battle.
Calling out in the middle of the night
as the ancient makers of dreams round us up like cattle.

Just one small battle
that is part of an unending war
fought in the mirror.
Just one more pill man
and I swear
this picture will become clearer.

Caught up in the grips of a vice
that is more precious to you than we seem to be.
Stolen moments of pain
placed upon each other
from some old memory.

There is no room
to move
and the hangar is stuck into my side.
Defeated every morning,
I am stripped of all my pride.

Our future
was foretold
and everything has come to pass.
Breaking the cycle,
doing something different
is the only way we can last.

Tears roll down my cheeks
as I face the plain sight of it.
Hoping we can change
within ourselves
and not just quit.

My Sunshine Came

breaking the rules
conformity to none
cutting loose the old flames
our freedom was won

amongst the madness
your heart sang a song
calling out to be whole
and I came along

looking in the mirror
love is complete
worth the price
of so many defeats

love so crazy
dancing in my head
your body so perfect
in our bed

our darkness balanced
with each others light
a peace within us
now calming the night

I had no hope
standing in the rain
singing her song
my sunshine came

I see in you
the you in me
i believe in you
as you believe in me

within each kiss
I try so hard to say
I'll be by your side
forever and a day

can't find the words

In a sea
of darkness
giving no signs
of life.

Using a method
of madness
rejection cuts
like a knife.

Fallen prey
to lies
hidden
at arms length.

Falling in love
only gives
away
my strength.

I knew
who I was
but the mirror
is now broken.

I knew
you loved me
until the words
were spoken.

I believed
in something
before
my life
faded away.

Can't stand,
can't speak,
but there
is so much
more to say.

A love
come lately
too damaged
to be
complete.

Pain,
so overwhelming
it's hard
to be
discreet.

Broken memories
down broken roads
with broken lives
scattered.

A belief in
who I am
once complete
now left shattered.

A beautiful
lie that I made
things right.

Grasping hope
while darkness
devours my light.

The remedy,
a taste of your lips,
locked in our room

and,
the feel of your hips,
cuming together soon.

Close to falling apart
not sure
I can see
it through.

Can't find the words
to say that
right now
I need you.

Eve of Destiny

On the eve of destiny,
i find myself smiling,
again.

Uncertain of sanity
but
trying not to win.

By the road I was left to live
the life of a broken man.

You sat down next to me
and offered me your hand.

The words spoken so plain,
so simple,
they made me feel alive.

My wounds so deep,
you offered me
a reason to survive.

You bring me a peace
and excitement
I have never known.

Your heart is a place
that I yearn
to call my home.

I see you
I know you
your darkness is my kind.

Found me
you have
through out the space of time.

Hold back no more
let me give you
whatever is left of me to give.

In my kiss
feel the embrace of love,
the love I want you to live.

fRoM tHe InSidE oUt

God… we've never had a conversation,

like the one we're having tonight.

I've never been so scared to death

that I might not get it right.

I've always watched the bridges burn

and now I could use a friend.

Always searching

until I found everything sin.

I kept circling the cul-de-sac,

by the house of selfish pain,

and with every chance taken,

I'm always standing out in the rain.

I never saw the stage,

I defied the role I had to play.

Each heart was horribly slain

when no longer it could stay.

If there was light,

then it was only darkness I would be

Fought so hard to break the man in the mirror,

my only enemy.

Time after time,

I stood against the world for the shock value of it.

Anything that would hurt me

I would always love it.

Tonight everything's changing

as tears finally fall,

And as I speak my heart I’m in awe

from the truth of it all.

She needs me God, I cannot fail,

though that's what I always do.

How do I overcome while still paying

on Karmic debt that's owed to you?

If there is anything that can be done

or anything I could say,

please help me, for her little heart,

help me find way.

Help me find a way to love,

to change from the inside out.

In hopes that she never has to be

any part of what I'm about.

I have to know that there's something better in me

than this time I've spent.

Making a difference in her

is the only chance I have to repent.

Also, if there is a way,

please let my victims know...

how sorry I am

to have hurt each of them so.

FrAgMeNtEd HopE

came home to a place that you didn't dwell anymore


crossed over the past to reach what it was before


there's a moment when madness sings through the mask of freedom


it's devastating where that infinite truth is gonna lead em'


up the road and back again just to find something to do


still reveling in the old days when it wasn't through


it was life's alarm clock ringing that gave ambition a migraine


the fables that reached grandiosity now fallen prey to the insane


the bible belt, a little too tight, when you hung me with it


calmed down a just a bit when the nightmare lifted


just around the corner I see the ghosts again rounded up like cattle


there's the cowboy killer, the preacher man sitting lead in his saddle


turned against the cold wind to see what's left on easy street


strutting through the fire and clinging to the savage heat


there was destiny in the womb cutting my deal to lose


a king with a loveless court without one choice left to choose


only a fragmented hope left that exudes such litheness


a reason to travel on in the eyes of my adore, my princess


getting back in the drivers seat and clearing the cobwebs for the ride


her purpose offers sanity to a broken man that clings to a fools pride

pOSt PaRTuM pENAncE

hell hath come lately and I braced myself for the impact

saliva and juice from a channel crazed witness kept the lies intact

before each dimension is the underlying seam with no meaning

staggering injustice stood against a backdrop that was leaning

a measuring cup of fury made the anonymous infirmary nervous and shaken

the announcement delayed while in quotations I am again forsaken

an unborn epiphany caused a line to form around the rabbit hole

cauterized by the tourniquet but still blood pours from my soul

the ladies night idolized and fantasized to a point that settling seems unlikely

sharpened the edge of Karma as you spit in my face just to spite me

each glass raised filled with toxicity that dilutes truth to another form

a reckoning that mimics lightning crashing in the eye of the storm

open and wounded as the prayers and best wishes were sent overnight

the battle you rage on but I stick to and keep love in sight

the gifted unbound sitting in the graveyard collecting bones

a crew that chastised each other banding together and casting stones

the circumcision left incomplete for a spot between the injunction

calming under siege the post partum penance leaves an inability to function

a mêlée where the malice was used and held high as if a trophy of war

a broken conscience that still, when reaching for help, seems a little sore

chanting the irrefutable in a duplicated pattern through the centuries

staging and caging drew a battle line but I see only mirrors as enemies

gNaWiNg InsIdE

laying against reality, our fantasy turns into frustration

a calming calamity seals the fate of forbidden damnation

it calls under the voices trapped inside

no place is safe to run and hide

the imperious notion to live again will breathe it's last breath

the sad devotion forms a line awaiting a complacent death

in the night it burns deep and makes you cringe

headed for another relentless binge

a call made to the team set for an intervention

fallen into the arms of an eluded dissention

she knows not the secrets beyond our ancient time

if only this magick could make it all mine

grasping at straws, there is but only one left to pull

gnawing inside and the flesh leaves me full

the touch of her body left passion choking for more

embraced isolation makes me the undermined whore

held in captivated silence

is justified defiance

an echoed memory keeps me hovering on to you

the lust is all that I have left to go through

catatonic episodes

did I speak clearly or were you just playing it off to rejection sister

you played top in an undertow below a fathom of rhetoric mister

the plague spread and the sex was wild but I didn't get any

the ideal was in the arena for combat and taken by many

in no uncertain terms was it to be coded to an embedded encryption

an unjust soldier of passionate dreams is my fitted description

time and again we've stood in the circle of each moment

we still don't understand even though someone's already shown it

it's a blue flame that sets the pieces of what was left on fire

just as the play was made you put it away to retire

incomplete is the unspoken union collaborated in the night

bred for game playing and unable to gain hold of truth in sight

visions of shattered dreams that dance in midnight clouds above

etched in fiberglass was the epitaph of one's long lost love

if you knew me well, then why do you slaughter my character so

if it was unspoken the whispering winds then this rain wouldn't blow

indescribable structures in the mind are built through financing

with a rush on the street to see what pain I'm romancing

a loner by circumstance who can't see when he's near a ledge

not playing the miserable card today I faced the mirror just over the edge

catatonic episodes after I ate of the fruit that was forbidden

and though I need someone's company I always keep it hidden

I'm the joke

my life