Two Major Points

After weeks in
a hospital learning
how to heal.

I had to start
back at ground
zero and get real.

What I began
to notice is that
none of the people
were there.

Especially those
drama queens who
go on about how
they care.

I faced total
decimation when
out of the blue
the Angels came.

One at a time they
they were selfless
and removed layers
of shame.

They renewed my hope
in humanity by
just being themselves
everyday.

They had their own
quirkiness but
they never stopped giving
what they could anyway.

I'm only halfway through
this journey of recovering
to myself again.

I somehow know that this
is the turning point
where i find the
path to win.

Mark Twain said there's two
major points in someone's life
that people should explore.

The day we are born
and the day
we realise what we
were born for.

Thank You Jose (aka Loco)

Somewhere deep in
the night I laid
naked, afraid and
beaten to the core.

They beat me so
continuously that I
I wasn't conscious
anymore.

When I awoke I
could hear a discussion
of my murder and
disposing of me.

I knew I was done for
and while praying to
God above I beheld an
Angel that I could see.

He spoke and asked
how this happened
and asked who had
done this.

I tried to tell him
but my face was too broken
that he got nothing from this.

He helped me
to my feet and when
the goons tried to interfere.

He roared in anger
at them while they
ran and got clear.

He walked me up to the
road and then
made his own way.

Just as an
Ambulance jammed
the curb to come
save the day.

I had to write
this so i could
find a way to say,

Loco you saved
my life and
I don't know how
to thank you Jose.

To Have My Angel Near. (RIP Angel Wilder)

Without you I
just pretend
I must confess.

Without you here
it seems
there's no happiness.

Your innocence
and playfulness
kept me alive.

Now without you
I don't think I
can survive.

I have to fight
my mind away
from you.

Losing you is
just too fucking
painful to get through.

So many times
you kept me from
my own suicide.

I knew no one could
love you as much
as I do by your side.

I hate everyone
for killing you
and taking
you away.

I scream at night
wanting to
make them pay.

I don't know
how I'm supposed
to get through this.

When all I want
is to feel
your cold nose
and wet kiss.

I panic now
overwhelmed that
you're not here.

I cry, I would
give anything
to have my Angel near.

I hope for Lexi's
sake that I
can carry on.

All I really
want right now
is to be gone.

If I Find It

Madness makes me
smile at the
lies before us.

Blackness is what
fills the
space towards us.

The unnanounced
came on time
just to make a show.

We are swearing
off the righteous
just to have a go.

The able minded
didn't seem to be
upset at all.

If I find it
I'd like to double down
and bet it all.

Maybe I'll find
something to change
the curcumstance.

Or I can become better than I am
given the chance.

12 Step Meeting

Stolen moments were
piled up in
the place I hide.

Whispering insanity is
the only place
left to confide.

I'm always downshifting
rather than locking
up the brakes.

To get myself
next to her, I'll do
whatever it takes.

Now that she
made it here I'm trying
to get her ass out.

Every time I think
I might win I get
overwhelmed with doubt.

This Meet N Greet mixed
with a 12 step meeting
left me deceived.

Once she finally
left me I was
exhausted but releived.