Will I Fall Tomorrow?

My selfishness
makes it
impossible
to give.

My immaturity
makes it
impossible
to live.


Being
gregarious
makes me
my own martyr.

Earning a
precarious
psychosis,
none the smarter.


Normal life
you
make it
with such ease.

Addiction
you
seem to be
such a tease.


Did I fall
today
or will
I fall tomorrow?

Death's embrace
takes away
such
pain and sorrow.


Misery
coupled
with agony
makes life
distorted.

Given
the choice
I would've
remained
aborted.


Linger
here
please,
just for a moment.

Alone,
forgotten,
and damned,
my finest atonement.

 

Who You Despise

In darkness
you left me here
alone with my lies.

My sunshine,
my angel
now it's me
who you despise.


The ancient ones
wrote the voice
you chose
to hear.

My haunting
past
inundated me
with fear.


Your love
gave life
to go on.

Disappearance
gave way
to no song.


I cry
in your arms
only
in dreams.

It's true
that misery
is all I have
it seems.


I remember
your eyes
as they
cursed
my soul.

I know
your lies
to get
free
and be whole.


No fault
do I find
in the
passing of time.

No reasoning
was left
why you
would be mine.


A love
left broken
on the side
of the road.

True love
left stolen
never
to be told.

Nor Did I Will it So

Awakened in cold sweat
screaming
at the sky.

I looked in the mirror
again
asking myself why.

 
Too cold to touch
but
too hot to handle 
is always the deal.

Lost in memory
because
in the present moment
I kill.

 
I thought
I had swagger
but
felt too stupid
to go with it.

I saw
the dagger
and 
held open my arms
to end this shit.

 
It missed.

I'm pissed.
 

Daylight
that scorches
the sky
sends me into sleep.
 
Moonlight
that comes
traps
and I'm falling in too deep.

 
The magic
in her eyes
burned every waking thought
I once had.
 
Passing moments
break apart the living
proving
I am mad.

 
If you only knew
the depth
of poison
that my soul drowns in.
 
Then you would 
go away too
leaving me
to die in my own sin.
 

My path,
not created
by my own hands
nor did I will it so.
 
Those
selfish ones
birthed hatred 
unable to let it go.
 

My prison, 
my cage,
started in the womb.

My liberty,
my freedom,
only found in my tomb.

A Final Lesson

I've said it before
so many times
in so many different ways.
 

You've seen it once more
in the rhetoric
of what the unjust plays.
 

I try to understand
truths of love but
your all just hypocrites
with an angle.

Grab that book again
preach from it
to tighten the noose
from which I strangle.

You enjoy my pain
by keeping me
bound to this place.
 

You have a knack
for such revelry
in your own distaste.
 

I want to go home
because
I was not meant to be.

I want to go home
because
your love is death to me.

You put the pieces
of your puzzle
together so well.
 

My pieces
fall apart
in my living hell.

My convalescence
with your hate
that I was born
will never coincide.
 

 Leave me be
to a final lesson
taught through 

my suicide.

we are not prisoners

you have known me many lifetimes and we have yet to become united


i kiss your lips in dreams only to wake to another day undecided


looking into your eyes is like looking into heaven above


from the minute I saw you, it was the first time I laid my eyes on love


you won't let me in but you won't shut me out and all I can do is stand still


you protect yourself so soundly and guard your heart with an unbreakable will


i can only smile and love you from a far because I would never change who you are


yet, I know that together we could become the union of souls that makes a shining star


touching you is a perfect balance that can make the world right more than we realize


i see your faces, they are all beautiful, even the ones you use for disguise


no matter what the future holds I knew that in one moment you had my heart


I will gladly wait a million lifetimes to hold you and give my first true love a start


soul-mates is what we are and you may not want to recognize it because you 
are afraid to see


but in the love of soul-mates we are not prisoners, our love is what sets us free


you are the most beautiful creature and in everything about you there is no blemish or flaw


so until that day comes or if it never does I'll still be waiting and watching you with wonder and awe