Sunday, December 28, 2014

Fragments of Doubt

I fucked her
and left her
holding on to
the steering wheel

my wretched
hypocrisy
defied the cages
built of
tyrannical steel

ambience blurred
by distorted resonance
inversing what
is right and wrong

the pied piper
led the masses
to the devils hole
with lies in his song

there used
to be a knowing
that the righteous
would one day prevail

but now the
pure are stripped
naked and gang
banged on the
floors of hell

cat calling
the demise
of one another
we find strength
in hiding away

reverence shattered
because you
sucked him til
bloody was all
he could say

a fine line
drawn then
erased only
to be drawn again
between my ghost

yet I may
have slit his
throat I must
say I was still
an excellent host

the garbage
of self exposure
is full
and needs
to be taken out

plus the innocence
of us
molested
was shredded into
fragments of doubt

we keep trying
to look up
and believe
that hope should
stay alive
for tomorrow

but everyone
has that
eerie knowing
that the only
thing left
is sorrow



Thursday, December 4, 2014

First True Love

For the
first time
in my life,
things have never
been more clear.

I've been
using the
wrong method
for each failure
that drew you near.

I finally
understand
what love is
and the only way
to do it is right.

It's the painful
irony of knowing
I'll never
get a chance
to hold you tight.

Such a
complex creature
love can be,
you'll never
see it coming,
but you'll know
when it's there.

Now that
I've found it
I must
let it go
because the truth
of it
isn't always fair.

While parting
from it,
there are
two treasures
I now know.

What love is
and
what to
look for
in the
future as I go.




Saturday, November 22, 2014

If She Existed

My heart broken,
unable to recover
from the evil
and hatred you
put me through.

The love of my life,
consumed by vengeance,
put a stake through
my heart with insults
that were true.

A moment
of softness,
or caring,
was absent during
your storm of rage
against my soul.

Happiness
was in
your eyes
while I was crucified,
as if my damnation
was your life’s only goal.

Coming down
the turnpike,
the black parade
had my exit blocked.

On my knees,
begging for forgiveness,
it was salvation
the demons mocked.

An unspoken word,
trying to be
my own man
despite the voices
in my head.

The maze
so intricately woven
that they
had me convinced
I should be dead.

Grasping
the essence
of hope
that the sky will open
and the sun will
come through.

My mental
time warp
stuck in tomorrow
where I kissed
the lips of love
greater than you.

A battle
for lost souls
raged on
leaving a scene
of horror as far
as the eye could see.

My madness
could be
thwarted and
love victorious,
if she existed, a love
that believed in me.





Thursday, November 13, 2014

Lost it all...

perpetuated by sins
of a beautiful one
who didn't want me


i need some
fast-acting remedy
for the voices
that taunt me


at the cliffhanger,
the insane clan
of scorned bitches
bled my love dry


you can see
the trail of tears
that blazed
a path to where
I will die


the venomous crew
you call home
crucify humanity
and tear apart
anything holy


the apocalyptic
epidemic
is now spread
so that they can
kill you all slowly


cries due to
your habitual
lying kept me
in the devil's church
with homeys ganging


truth be told
it was a far cry
from the middle
of the road where
I was left hanging


the only chance
at salvation
requires
bookkeeping skills
that I don't know yet


i walked
up to the
window of damnation
and lost it all
on my last bet

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Last Detail

The broadcast
was formed
from the sinners
and demons coalescence.

It was easy
to see our loss
from the
images of senescence.

Madness charred
to a medium rare
due to our own
bruised conviction.

Impoverished
without a care
gargling the pain
caused by addiction.

Policed down
to the common place
for us who have
no where to go.

Branded
and gilded
for the pride
of the saints
who stole the show.

Broken dream alleyways
scattered all along
the puzzle
of this dimension.

The council
heading up insanity
strived in
their own contention.

Effortlessly they gawked
at a life
they never knew
they had.

Aimlessly they fucked
it off,even
though it
wasn't that bad.

Coming full circle
while the moon
gazed into
the summer air.

I wonder when
your true nature
will raise it's evil head
without a care.

You've cursed me
with what
you hide
behind the walls

Waiting for
the dictated
ending that
never even calls.

The etching fired
through misery and blame
give us
the last detail.

My passion
left alone
and in pain
is the home
that I call hell.



Monday, May 26, 2014

The End of the Show


A place
beyond the seal
and stolen perforation.

Held tightly
to the fabric
of exotic desperation.

They leered
like madmen
looking past
the bars.

Youth walked
out on me
once I got
the scars.

There’s no
secret life
to live
or fairy tale ending.

There’s no
hope that
my brokenness
is on the mending.

Uncouthly
staggering
while holding
the stripper pole.

Damnation's
price was
only to steal
away my soul.

The totality
of reverence
equaled a nil.

I’m in a panic
because I
need another pill.

Gruesome
horror stories
found
their revelry
in my fear.

Looking
to the skies,
praying,
but nothing
did I hear.

The jest,
the fool,
the mockery
of a living man.

Tortured,
and soul-raped
is all that's left
of who I am.

Invasive
sacrilegious
bigots judge me
in my demise.

The same
ones who claim
righteousness
of whom I despise.

You may find
it amusing
to watch the end
of the show.

I crack
a smile
knowing that
hell is where,
you too, shall go.



Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Isn't a Path Left

In a moment beyond words, 
prior to the formation, 
an emotion
escaped my secret.

In a place beyond time, 
before the reclamation,
I told you
to just keep it.

Wreckage
from the collision
that splintered
my psyche
was lying around

Looking 
in every direction
realizing
only deception
was to be found.

The truth of it
abandonment
with her hatred
progresses my death,

No answer to be told,
no sales to be sold,
and
there isn't a path left

No future
set in stone
but my destiny is hell
amongst my brethren
who don't give a fuck.

Suicide,
homicide,
maddening is the plea
of one who's never been
smiled upon with luck.

A broken soul
that can't grasp
or conceive
a concept
of any happiness.

To be loved
was the goal
that leaves me
chained and bound
to an eternal loneliness.



Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Arms of Orion

In the darkness of
the night sky there’s
a piece of my heart
I left just for you.

In that same place
is a piece of your heart
you left there
for me too.

Frozen in time
beyond all dimensions
of what is or isn’t,
what will or won’t be.

From Father to Daughter
& Daughter to Father,
our love bound
unconditionally.

The arms of Orion
is our place
no matter what’s shaking
or where we are.

Our hearts
hanging in the sky
to let us know that
we’ve never gone too far.

Yearning for someone
who understands
beyond words
to sit with a while.

To know it’s alright
in only a gesture
or the kindness
of their smile.

A secret moment
we share that no one
can ever take away
or steal.

A conversation
that we can always
say whatever we want
or feel.

Through it all,
bad and good
you are my daughter, my love,
so beautiful to see.

In our place
you can always
find my heart looking for you,
the best part of me.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

I Love You Kiddo



Improper but justified by eclectic madness strung out against the pain

Undecided, a facade well decorated, stripping me bare of anything sane

Seeping into tomorrow your path of damnation is a road I have traveled

Frightened inside loneliness, bleeding bows are starting to be unraveled

My gift of life that turned away from the only open heart that's now broken

Yearning to relate I knew you were reality and there was no one joking

The silence screams into my darkness, tossing hate and fear into a blend

Borrowed a stolen relic in the drive thru because I don't have one friend

Signs everywhere, but I allow my illiteracy to keep me walking the plank

Emptied the last bottle amidst the sea of delusion as my heart sank

Always closed, grasping the rhetoric but unsure what to do

Nightmares are my reality because she's a stranger now too

I love you kiddo, its all I can say because your all I can see

You're best thing in life and the only thing right in me

The truth distorted and disfigured as my love and intent they did impugn

Absence indefinite, a sign of the times that an ending should be along soon

Drifting in the seas along the divide you can always find my essence

Defying space and time I will always be near should you need my presence